Kaitlyn, your baby brother, Matthew, has arrived! He was born on April 7th, 2010 at 12:59 am. You were born at 11:53pm, I guess both my babies like arriving at night. He's now 1 month old. He looks just like your dad. Looking at him and watching him change every day makes me think about you and wonder about what you would have looked like. I still think you would have looked more like me. I think about your personality and how you would grow into an adorable toddler, a loving, fun kid, a precocious pre-teen, a fun but challenging teen, and a responsible, but fun-loving adult. I'm sure we would have grown to be great friends as well as mother and daughter.
We talk about you to your brother often. We have your pictures hanging in our bedroom and your brother likes to stare at your pictures. We tell him about what it was like to be pregnant with you and to hold you. We tell him that you are in Heaven with Jesus and that you are happier than we could imagine.
I was filling out the government newborn registration for your brother and there was a question asking how many live births and how many stillbirths I had had. The next box asked me how many children I had and I was instructed to add the live births with the stillbirths. So the government includes you as my child. That was such a great feeling to type the number 2 into the box asking how many children I had.
I think about you often, and miss you every day. The anniversary of your due date just passed on May 5th. We should have been celebrating your first birthday around this time. I'm sure you would have loved to squish the birthday cake into your face and through your fingers. We would have taken many pictures to show at your wedding one day.
I wish I could have kissed your beautiful face. Your little brother has the chubbiest cheeks that I love to kiss and I bet you would have had those kissable cheeks as well. I miss you so much, my angel, and I'll be blowing you kisses so make sure to catch them and because they are special kisses just for you.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Getting close!
Tomorrow I'll be 35 weeks pregnant...only 5 weeks to go! I'm getting so excited to meet my little boy, but as I get closer to my due date, I'm missing Kaitlyn more and more. Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't been giving her any attention. Her little box is on my nightstand and I have to say her name out loud, just to remind myself that I also have a daughter. She seems to be getting further away from me, and it makes me so sad. Today, I had an overwhelming need to look at her pictures. The ones that were taken at the hospital. I wanted to look at her beautiful face and tiny hands. We have some pictures of us holding her up in our bedroom, but I needed to see her actual face. I needed that reminder that she was here.
My aunts and my mom threw me a wonderful baby shower a few weeks ago. I was so excited about that shower. It was such a huge milestone in this pregnancy and there were so many people there to share my joy with. I had such a great time and Matthew got lots of great stuff. I can't wait to dress him in the little outfits he got. A piece of me missed seeing little girl dresses and pink decorations. It was another event that I never got to share with Kaitlyn.
I must admit, there still is some guilt when I miss Kaitlyn. I want her here with me, but I also want my little boy Matthew here too. Why can't I have both of them? Lately, I have been getting some baby items off of craigslist for Matthew. So, of course, whenever I meet up with someone to purchase and item, they always ask if this is my first. I've taken to saying "yes", since I'm only there for a couple of minutes, but I still dread that question and I still feel a stab in my heart whenever I answer with "yes". I just want to keep Kaitlyn's memory alive.
Taking the time to look at Kaitlyn's pictures and talking about her, definitely helps. I just miss my beautiful girl so much and as the memories become a bit foggier, I just want to hold on tighter to what I have of her. I never want to forget my first born baby. I miss her so much!
My aunts and my mom threw me a wonderful baby shower a few weeks ago. I was so excited about that shower. It was such a huge milestone in this pregnancy and there were so many people there to share my joy with. I had such a great time and Matthew got lots of great stuff. I can't wait to dress him in the little outfits he got. A piece of me missed seeing little girl dresses and pink decorations. It was another event that I never got to share with Kaitlyn.
I must admit, there still is some guilt when I miss Kaitlyn. I want her here with me, but I also want my little boy Matthew here too. Why can't I have both of them? Lately, I have been getting some baby items off of craigslist for Matthew. So, of course, whenever I meet up with someone to purchase and item, they always ask if this is my first. I've taken to saying "yes", since I'm only there for a couple of minutes, but I still dread that question and I still feel a stab in my heart whenever I answer with "yes". I just want to keep Kaitlyn's memory alive.
Taking the time to look at Kaitlyn's pictures and talking about her, definitely helps. I just miss my beautiful girl so much and as the memories become a bit foggier, I just want to hold on tighter to what I have of her. I never want to forget my first born baby. I miss her so much!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Happy 1st Birthday, Kaitlyn
Happy Birthday Kaitlyn! I can't believe it's been an entire year since we last saw you and felt you. You were born at 11:43 pm on January 17tyh, 2009. I was so grateful to be able to spend so much time with you after you were born. You were held by lots of people, and loved by many more. You were so tiny and delicate, yet perfect and beautiful. You are a blessing in our lives and we think about you every day.
You dad and I have been thinking and planning for your 1st birthday for a while. It's hard to know what to do. We are celebrating your short life and remembering the day we spent with you. But we are also missing you and missing all the birthday parties you would have had.
Your dad and I just spent the day together, thinking of you. You were the first thought in our mind this morning. We decided to make you a cake, with pink frosting, of course. We also spent the day just out and about, then we enjoyed dinner together, and we talked about you. We came home and I made a rainbow sprinkle cake with pink frosting. I iced the cake when it was still warm, so the icing slipped down, but it was still delicious. I can imagine that you would have smashed the cake all over your face, and we would have taken so many pictures.....perhaps to show at your wedding.
We took out all your pictures and held your tiny hat and we read over the poems and sermons that were read at your Celebration of Life. We also looked at your Certificate of Dedication, which was given to us after Pastor Gary dedicated you on January 18th, 2009. I miss you soooo much, Kaitlyn. I love seeing your beautiful face, but it also breaks my heart that I can't kiss that face. Chris and I cried together, missing our beautiful baby girl, but it felt good to cry and to miss you. It's just another reminder of how deep and real our love for you is.
Your little brother kicked a few times while we were looking at your things. I think he was wishing you a happy birthday.
We love you, sweet girl, and there is never a day that goes by where we don't think of you.
Love always and forever,
your mommy and daddy
You dad and I have been thinking and planning for your 1st birthday for a while. It's hard to know what to do. We are celebrating your short life and remembering the day we spent with you. But we are also missing you and missing all the birthday parties you would have had.
Your dad and I just spent the day together, thinking of you. You were the first thought in our mind this morning. We decided to make you a cake, with pink frosting, of course. We also spent the day just out and about, then we enjoyed dinner together, and we talked about you. We came home and I made a rainbow sprinkle cake with pink frosting. I iced the cake when it was still warm, so the icing slipped down, but it was still delicious. I can imagine that you would have smashed the cake all over your face, and we would have taken so many pictures.....perhaps to show at your wedding.
We took out all your pictures and held your tiny hat and we read over the poems and sermons that were read at your Celebration of Life. We also looked at your Certificate of Dedication, which was given to us after Pastor Gary dedicated you on January 18th, 2009. I miss you soooo much, Kaitlyn. I love seeing your beautiful face, but it also breaks my heart that I can't kiss that face. Chris and I cried together, missing our beautiful baby girl, but it felt good to cry and to miss you. It's just another reminder of how deep and real our love for you is.
Your little brother kicked a few times while we were looking at your things. I think he was wishing you a happy birthday.
We love you, sweet girl, and there is never a day that goes by where we don't think of you.
Love always and forever,
your mommy and daddy
Friday, January 15, 2010
January 15th
One year ago today, my world came crashing down. I had my 24 week appt. with my midwife at 9:30am. I remember I hadn't been feeling movement, but I had blamed it on having an anterior placenta. The appt. went well, until they tried to find Kaitlyn's heartbeat. It was silent. I couldn't hear the distinct thumping of Kaitlyn's heart as I had at previous appt's. I'm so glad Chris was with me. I was staring at the ceiling, praying that they would find her heartbeat. An appt. was made to get an ultrasound at 4 pm that day. So Chris and I headed home. I was in tears, but Chris was hopeful that everything would be okay. As soon as I walked in the door, I burst into tears and hugged my mom and told her they couldn't find an heartbeat. My midwife called and told me to go straight to the hospital because it would be agony to wait until 4pm. I remember arriving at the hospital with Chris. The midwife met us there and hooked up a fetal monitor, but all we could hear was my own heartbeat, Kaitlyn's was silent. I had an ultrasound scheduled for 1pm, but the midwife was able to get the oncall OB to bring in a portable ultrasound machine. My mom, dad, and pastor came in before the ultrasound machine arrived. Well, he put that jelly on my stomach and we saw my beautiful Kaitlyn, and we could see her heart, and it was still. We all knew it was over. And the OB said those fateful words...."There's her heartsac, but unfortunately, it's not beating. " It confirmed what I already knew, but was denying. Chris and I held each other and cried. I think everyone else in the room cried along with us.
That was the worst moment of my life. I went down for the ultrasound at 1pm and my midwife came with me. The ultrasound tech was quiet and took all the necessary measurements. I wish I had asked to see her on the screen, but I didn't think I could handle it again. My midwife said that according to the measurements Kaitlyn had passed away a couple weeks ago. I didn't want to know exactly when, because I knew I would replay those days over and over again in my head and try to see if I could have done something different.
We made arrangements to come back the following day to be induced. When we got home, I was numb. I just sat in an armchair in a haze. Then Trevor came home and I had to tell him we lost Kaitlyn. Everyone watched a movie that night as a distraction, but I know I couldn't focus on it. Before bed, I had to pack my hospital bag...14 weeks earlier than I had planned to. I laid in bed that night, praying for a miracle, holding Kaitlyn inside me, not wanting to let her go. I don't think I slept more then 2 hours that night.The next morning we went to the hospital to be induced.
The memory of that day is so clear. I try not to think about the details, because it is too painful. I can still hear the sound of the doppler and fetal monitor. I remember the feeling like my world was over. My dream was gone.
I've been so nervous about these 3 days. Jan 15th - Jan. 17th. I can't believe it's been a whole year. It sure doesn't feel like it. I still miss her so much everyday. I still think about her daily. I'm enjoying life again, but I still feel as though a piece of me is missing. I still feel the pain of losing my child, but it doesn't consume me anymore. I'm excited to be expecting our son in April and I've loved getting his nursery ready. I've been going through the baby items that were given to us when we were pregnant with Kaitlyn. There's lots of stuff that we can use with our boy, but there are a few pink items that I won't get to use. I pick up her stuffed animal and give it a hug almost everyday. There are some things that will always be just for her.
That was the worst moment of my life. I went down for the ultrasound at 1pm and my midwife came with me. The ultrasound tech was quiet and took all the necessary measurements. I wish I had asked to see her on the screen, but I didn't think I could handle it again. My midwife said that according to the measurements Kaitlyn had passed away a couple weeks ago. I didn't want to know exactly when, because I knew I would replay those days over and over again in my head and try to see if I could have done something different.
We made arrangements to come back the following day to be induced. When we got home, I was numb. I just sat in an armchair in a haze. Then Trevor came home and I had to tell him we lost Kaitlyn. Everyone watched a movie that night as a distraction, but I know I couldn't focus on it. Before bed, I had to pack my hospital bag...14 weeks earlier than I had planned to. I laid in bed that night, praying for a miracle, holding Kaitlyn inside me, not wanting to let her go. I don't think I slept more then 2 hours that night.The next morning we went to the hospital to be induced.
The memory of that day is so clear. I try not to think about the details, because it is too painful. I can still hear the sound of the doppler and fetal monitor. I remember the feeling like my world was over. My dream was gone.
I've been so nervous about these 3 days. Jan 15th - Jan. 17th. I can't believe it's been a whole year. It sure doesn't feel like it. I still miss her so much everyday. I still think about her daily. I'm enjoying life again, but I still feel as though a piece of me is missing. I still feel the pain of losing my child, but it doesn't consume me anymore. I'm excited to be expecting our son in April and I've loved getting his nursery ready. I've been going through the baby items that were given to us when we were pregnant with Kaitlyn. There's lots of stuff that we can use with our boy, but there are a few pink items that I won't get to use. I pick up her stuffed animal and give it a hug almost everyday. There are some things that will always be just for her.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Christmas Season
We made it through Christmas. And, overall, it was a great Christmas. We got to celebrate it with family and look forward to our new addition that will be with us next Christmas. There were many moments of tears and sadness and just missing my baby girl. I remembered last Christmas, where we talked about having Kaitlyn with us the next Christmas. I didn't realize how emotional I would get over the season. We have lots of Christmas ornaments for Kaitlyn. Last year, after Christmas I bought a picture frame ornament that I was going to put Kaitlyn's baby picture in for this year. We had lots of ornaments with Kaitlyn name on it, but I had bought it to put Kaitlyn's picture in so I put in one of her pictures that we took of her while we were in the hospital. It looks absolutely beautiful! It's not something that anyone else would notice unless it was pointed out to them, but I know she's there. Sometimes, I just stand at the tree and look at that picture. I don't want to take it down.
Throughout December, I was remembering the special moments we had last year with Kaitlyn. December 8th, was a special day. Last year it was the day of our "big" ultrasound. We found out that we were going to be having a little girl. The rest of the family was housesitting for a family friend so we called them up and told them that it was a girl! It was so exciting. We went over later that night to celebrate. I remember that ultrasound. The tech said that Kaitlyn was moving around a lot. This December 8th continued with special pregnancy moments. It was that day that Chris felt his baby boy move for the first time. I was lying on the couch and he was really active so I called Chris down and he put his hand on my belly and he got to feel a few good kicks! It was so exciting and special to share.
My brother Trevor and his wife Stephanie gave us a poem this Christmas that reminded them of Kaitlyn. It was so beautiful. Here it is:
My First Christmas in Heaven
-author unknown
I see countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your hear
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
As I sit here and type this, the tears are pouring down and my heart aches, I just miss her so much. To be honest, I guess I didn't really understand why you would miss someone more at a certain time of year than throughout the year. But this year, I get it. There are memories that were made and were supposed to be made. Dreams that never happened. You just want to spend the season with everyone you love, and when someone is missing, there's hole that seems like it can't be filled.
I am so excited about our new baby boy, but I just miss my little girl so much. I'm glad she was still a part of my Christmas, as she will be every year.
Throughout December, I was remembering the special moments we had last year with Kaitlyn. December 8th, was a special day. Last year it was the day of our "big" ultrasound. We found out that we were going to be having a little girl. The rest of the family was housesitting for a family friend so we called them up and told them that it was a girl! It was so exciting. We went over later that night to celebrate. I remember that ultrasound. The tech said that Kaitlyn was moving around a lot. This December 8th continued with special pregnancy moments. It was that day that Chris felt his baby boy move for the first time. I was lying on the couch and he was really active so I called Chris down and he put his hand on my belly and he got to feel a few good kicks! It was so exciting and special to share.
My brother Trevor and his wife Stephanie gave us a poem this Christmas that reminded them of Kaitlyn. It was so beautiful. Here it is:
My First Christmas in Heaven
-author unknown
I see countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your hear
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
As I sit here and type this, the tears are pouring down and my heart aches, I just miss her so much. To be honest, I guess I didn't really understand why you would miss someone more at a certain time of year than throughout the year. But this year, I get it. There are memories that were made and were supposed to be made. Dreams that never happened. You just want to spend the season with everyone you love, and when someone is missing, there's hole that seems like it can't be filled.
I am so excited about our new baby boy, but I just miss my little girl so much. I'm glad she was still a part of my Christmas, as she will be every year.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Pregnancy joys and worries
It's been a while since I last posted. To be honest, I've been avoiding posting because it always brings up a lot of emotion. I'm now almost 23 weeks pregnant. This past month has been really tough. It was around this time when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn that I noticed I hadn't been feeling her move, but I just believed that it was due to having an anterior placenta. The hormones with pregnancy haven't been helping, but lately I've been thinking a lot about Kaitlyn. Many tears have fallen for her this past month. We still have her picture(s) because I like to remember her, but sometimes they can be hard to look at because there is so much emotion behind them.
We found out the gender of this baby and are excited to find out that it's a boy! Chris and I were shocked when the ultrasound tech told us. We both just expected another girl. I must admit, although I am excited that we are having a boy, there's a part of me that's sad that I'm not having a girl. I had been planning for a girl when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. I had a nursery decorated in my head, I had plans and dreams of mother-daughter stuff. It was just a little hard to switch off that thinking and now start planning for a boy. I'm scared I won't know what to do with a boy. I think having a boy has helped me differentiate between the two pregnancies. Although, I still occasionally think that my due date is May 5th (as it was with Kaitlyn), instead of April 5th. And even when talking about our baby I occasionally slip up and call him "she". When that happens, I feel so guilty because I don't want this baby to think he's second to Kaitlyn or anything. We love this little guy so much!
Although this pregnancy has been going well, I still get quite anxious occasionally. Thankfully, my midwife has allowed me to come in every 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat and between ultrasound and specialist appt's I've has an appt. every week for a while. We have so many ultrasound pictures of our little man; I just wish we had more of Kaitlyn as well. This little guy has been pretty active as well. With Kaitlyn, I only felt a few kicks and I never got to really experience full out movement. With this pregnancy, I'm starting to feel lots of kicks, even though I have an anterior placenta again. Even with the kicks, I still get nervous that something may go wrong. For example, yesterday, our baby was way less active than he was the previous days. I know this is normal, but the worry started to come. Thankfully, I did feel a few kicks.
I've just recently started to actually plan for this baby. Chris and I went to our storage unit and brought out the baby stuff that we had for Kaitlyn. It was hard because Kaitlyn never got to use these items and I still imagine what she would have looked like in her little pick sleeper. But I've even allowed myself to consider registering for baby stuff, and I enjoy looking a baby stuff in the stores. I still get a pang of sadness when we walk by an adorable little dress that would have looked cute on Kaitlyn, but then I look for a cute outfit for a boy.
We still haven't picked out a name yet. I'm so glad we had Kaitlyn's name picked out early because it would have been to hard to think of a name right after she was born. I think Chris and I are both hoping a name will suddenly come to us, which is what happened with Kaitlyn, but I'm beginning to grow impatient because I want to call our baby by name. So I've started a list of names and we'll just pray about it.
I am definitely not naive about pregnancy anymore. Even though I know everything is going well with this pregnancy, I still know what could happen. I'm not blindly blissful through this journey, but I guess it really makes me appreciate this baby as well and even though I can't wait to meet our little guy, I'm taking the time to enjoy each and every kick, because they are so precious. I wish I could have experienced all the pregnancy joys with Kaitlyn, but I'm also glad I get to experience them now. It's still hard to not think about, what could be. Like I could be preparing for my first Christmas with a baby, but instead I'm pregnant for the second Christmas in a row. But this little guy will have his own Christmas tree ornament, just like Kaitlyn. Next Christmas we will be enjoying it with our baby.
Well, now Chris and I are parents of 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl. I just wish they could have known each other and played together. This little man will know that he has an older sister who is loved and missed. At this point, I have been waiting for over a year to hold my new baby in my arms, I've only got to wait another 17 weeks and my dream will finally come true.
We found out the gender of this baby and are excited to find out that it's a boy! Chris and I were shocked when the ultrasound tech told us. We both just expected another girl. I must admit, although I am excited that we are having a boy, there's a part of me that's sad that I'm not having a girl. I had been planning for a girl when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. I had a nursery decorated in my head, I had plans and dreams of mother-daughter stuff. It was just a little hard to switch off that thinking and now start planning for a boy. I'm scared I won't know what to do with a boy. I think having a boy has helped me differentiate between the two pregnancies. Although, I still occasionally think that my due date is May 5th (as it was with Kaitlyn), instead of April 5th. And even when talking about our baby I occasionally slip up and call him "she". When that happens, I feel so guilty because I don't want this baby to think he's second to Kaitlyn or anything. We love this little guy so much!
Although this pregnancy has been going well, I still get quite anxious occasionally. Thankfully, my midwife has allowed me to come in every 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat and between ultrasound and specialist appt's I've has an appt. every week for a while. We have so many ultrasound pictures of our little man; I just wish we had more of Kaitlyn as well. This little guy has been pretty active as well. With Kaitlyn, I only felt a few kicks and I never got to really experience full out movement. With this pregnancy, I'm starting to feel lots of kicks, even though I have an anterior placenta again. Even with the kicks, I still get nervous that something may go wrong. For example, yesterday, our baby was way less active than he was the previous days. I know this is normal, but the worry started to come. Thankfully, I did feel a few kicks.
I've just recently started to actually plan for this baby. Chris and I went to our storage unit and brought out the baby stuff that we had for Kaitlyn. It was hard because Kaitlyn never got to use these items and I still imagine what she would have looked like in her little pick sleeper. But I've even allowed myself to consider registering for baby stuff, and I enjoy looking a baby stuff in the stores. I still get a pang of sadness when we walk by an adorable little dress that would have looked cute on Kaitlyn, but then I look for a cute outfit for a boy.
We still haven't picked out a name yet. I'm so glad we had Kaitlyn's name picked out early because it would have been to hard to think of a name right after she was born. I think Chris and I are both hoping a name will suddenly come to us, which is what happened with Kaitlyn, but I'm beginning to grow impatient because I want to call our baby by name. So I've started a list of names and we'll just pray about it.
I am definitely not naive about pregnancy anymore. Even though I know everything is going well with this pregnancy, I still know what could happen. I'm not blindly blissful through this journey, but I guess it really makes me appreciate this baby as well and even though I can't wait to meet our little guy, I'm taking the time to enjoy each and every kick, because they are so precious. I wish I could have experienced all the pregnancy joys with Kaitlyn, but I'm also glad I get to experience them now. It's still hard to not think about, what could be. Like I could be preparing for my first Christmas with a baby, but instead I'm pregnant for the second Christmas in a row. But this little guy will have his own Christmas tree ornament, just like Kaitlyn. Next Christmas we will be enjoying it with our baby.
Well, now Chris and I are parents of 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl. I just wish they could have known each other and played together. This little man will know that he has an older sister who is loved and missed. At this point, I have been waiting for over a year to hold my new baby in my arms, I've only got to wait another 17 weeks and my dream will finally come true.
Friday, October 16, 2009
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness
We all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. We've seen the pink ribbons everywhere. Well, October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. These are two issues that I hold close to my heart. But people feel more comfortable discussing cancer, than they do talking about losing a baby. There's so many commercials and walks for breast cancer, but never have I seen a commercial and events supporting pregnancy and infant loss are kept quiet. I know the March of Dimes in the States is working on finding answers. Unfortunately, both issues are all too common. I just wanted to share some numbers with you. We all know that
- Approximately 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. (Possibly twice that many miscarriages happen before the woman realizes that she is pregnant, but of course these are difficult to track.) Of the number of women who miscarry, 20 percent will suffer recurring miscarriage.
- Approximately 1 in 200 pregnancies end in stillbirth, which is a miscarriage after 20 weeks gestation.
- Approximately 1 in 200 pregnancies end in neonatal death, when the baby dies before it is 28 days old.
- Approximately 1 in 400 babies die between the age of 28 days and 11 months.
These aren’t just statistics – these are people. I bet there are women around you who fall into one of these categories, and you may not even know it.
Yesterday, October 15, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a day to remember these babies and to light a candle in their memory. There is supposed to be a “wave of light” across the world; everyone is asked to burn a candle for one hour at 7 PM in their own time zone to keep the wave going.
I don't spend just one day thinking of Kaitlyn. I think of her everyday, but yesterday, was a special day for her. I have the candle from her memorial. I get to light that candle every year. And next year, her little brother or sister will be with us to light that candle.
I was hesitant to write anything on facebook about yesterday. People get uncomfortable talking about losing a baby, but how are we going to step past that taboo without talking about it. After posting an message on facebook...I was so encouraged to see that other people had learned about October 15th, and they lite a candle or were thinking about Kaitlyn as well. I love knowing how much she meant to others as well. So thank you to all those who participated and who knows, maybe that wave will be even brighter next year.
Yesterday, October 15, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a day to remember these babies and to light a candle in their memory. There is supposed to be a “wave of light” across the world; everyone is asked to burn a candle for one hour at 7 PM in their own time zone to keep the wave going.
I don't spend just one day thinking of Kaitlyn. I think of her everyday, but yesterday, was a special day for her. I have the candle from her memorial. I get to light that candle every year. And next year, her little brother or sister will be with us to light that candle.
I was hesitant to write anything on facebook about yesterday. People get uncomfortable talking about losing a baby, but how are we going to step past that taboo without talking about it. After posting an message on facebook...I was so encouraged to see that other people had learned about October 15th, and they lite a candle or were thinking about Kaitlyn as well. I love knowing how much she meant to others as well. So thank you to all those who participated and who knows, maybe that wave will be even brighter next year.
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