Kaitlyn's baby brother

Kaitlyn, your baby brother, Matthew, has arrived! He was born on April 7th, 2010 at 12:59 am. You were born at 11:53pm, I guess both my babies like arriving at night. He's now 1 month old. He looks just like your dad. Looking at him and watching him change every day makes me think about you and wonder about what you would have looked like. I still think you would have looked more like me. I think about your personality and how you would grow into an adorable toddler, a loving, fun kid, a precocious pre-teen, a fun but challenging teen, and a responsible, but fun-loving adult. I'm sure we would have grown to be great friends as well as mother and daughter.

We talk about you to your brother often. We have your pictures hanging in our bedroom and your brother likes to stare at your pictures. We tell him about what it was like to be pregnant with you and to hold you. We tell him that you are in Heaven with Jesus and that you are happier than we could imagine.

I was filling out the government newborn registration for your brother and there was a question asking how many live births and how many stillbirths I had had. The next box asked me how many children I had and I was instructed to add the live births with the stillbirths. So the government includes you as my child. That was such a great feeling to type the number 2 into the box asking how many children I had.

I think about you often, and miss you every day. The anniversary of your due date just passed on May 5th. We should have been celebrating your first birthday around this time. I'm sure you would have loved to squish the birthday cake into your face and through your fingers. We would have taken many pictures to show at your wedding one day.

I wish I could have kissed your beautiful face. Your little brother has the chubbiest cheeks that I love to kiss and I bet you would have had those kissable cheeks as well. I miss you so much, my angel, and I'll be blowing you kisses so make sure to catch them and because they are special kisses just for you.